My Grand Illusions

Bullet points

• Supposedly it's supposed to snow again today? and tomorrow? WHAT THE HELL TEXAS?! I never know how to dress anyways but especially now. It was nearly 60 Sunday and today it's close to freezing. I never wanted to live in a cold climate and it seems I'm getting no choice in the matter.
• Y'all, long distance relationships are hard with a capital H. We've finally gotten under the 100 day mark...only 83 days to go.
• This tax season is killing me. I say that about every tax season and this year is no exception. This week I'll work 68 hours. My savings account better be killer when it's all said and done.
• My house is an absolute disaster. There's dry cereal on the floor in the living room that I keep hoping the cat will eat, the laundry isn't folding itself, the sink is at full capacity and you should see the disarray of shoes that litter my bedroom floor, bathroom and hallway.
• I colored my hair a super dark shade of brown. Thankfully I think this brand of dye covered my multitude of greys that have taken residence on my head. See:

 

• I took Jackson to the Incredible Pizza Company this weekend and OH MY, it was THE place to be. There must have been 4 kajillion children running around, screaming and hyped up on massive amounts of mediocre food and sugar. Thankfully Jackson was happy enough just running around pushing buttons on the different games so I didn't have to spend a dime. By warned...bring your own hand sanitizer!
• This last weekend I ate like utter and and total crap. I ate out FIVE times in a 3 day time period. I can't even believe it. I had to count twice to make sure I was counting properly. This means that the few measly pounds I had worked off have made their way back.
• I ran 3.8 miles outdoors yesterday afternoon. It was the longest I've run outside ever and it was completely different from when I ran 4 miles on the treadmill. It was much, much harder toward the end because I was going up a slight hill. Some woman passed my by, also running, and I had to convince myself not to feel bad that she totally blew past me.
• I'm now a member of the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. Jackson had so much fun in the kids area a few weekends ago that I just couldn't not get a membership. Now we can go for free as much as we want and bring guests with us!
• I ordered an iPod nanothat should be delivered any day now. I ordered it specifically for running and working out purposes but as a bonus I discovered it has a built in video recorder! Now I'll have something to record with when I go out of town. Score! (Also, I should do more research next time I buy something like that.)
• Lastly, I've been going to bed no later than 10 PM almost every night. I highly recommend it.

The potty and I are becoming likethis

So, I'm potty training my three-year-old. (OMG, I have a three-year-old!) Let me rephrase, I'm helping to potty train my three-year-old. I am blessed to have seriously the best babysitter EVER in the world and she's doing 80% of the work while I just keep it up at home. I totally need to give her the babysitter-of-the-year award.

I know a few of you bloggers are in the throws of potty training (or potty learning if you want to be PC) so here's what we've been doing. We set the timer for 15 minutes and we take him to the potty every 15 minutes. For the most part he wears big boy undies instead of pull-ups. Pull-ups are basically diapers so he only wears them when he's in the car or if he's at his Grandma's house. He gets a "treat" when he uses the potty. You read that right, I totally bribe my kid to relieve himself into the toilet by giving him dum-dum suckers. I don't feel the least guilty about it either.

I'm not doing the 15 minute time thing anymore, really. Now I ask him about every 20 minutes and we go sit on the potty no matter what. I think he's getting it, slowly. I was reminded that he's had 3 years of going whenever he wants so I have to be patient. Also, I don't know any five-year-olds that aren't potty trained, so I don't feel to anxious yet.

He's doing relatively well although he's had an accident or two everyday and we've been at this for 2 weeks. There's no turning back though, I'm determined to not change another diaper. We tried using a little potty chair that sat on the floor but he wants nothing to do with it. We use a potty seat insert whositthingy. (Technical term, ya know.)

 
Y'all, when we get this potty training thing down I may throw a party. It'll be the greatest day I've had in a while.

Anyhoo, other than working and potty training my brain is basically fried. There's only 65 days till tax season is over and 96 days till I leave for England. Not that I'm counting or anything...

Oh! And also! I ran 4 miles the other day for the first time ever! I am ridiculously proud of my short, little legs and how they took me so far!

Running

I used to say that you'd never see me running unless someone with a very large, very threatening object was chasing me and I honestly meant that. I wouldn't run unless my life depended on it and I suppose now that maybe that's why I've taken up running. Actually I'd say jogging is the correct term but whatever you call it, I'm definitely not walking.

My life doesn't literally depend on running, of course. But my health does and therefore I'd say that my life does depend on it. It depends on me moving and exercising. I think, also, that I've found that perhaps my sanity depends on it also.

When I was in middle and high school I remember running around the school track and my friends and I were always the girls that walked the whole way unless our overweight coach would make us run.If that was the case we'd run for as long as the coach would be watching us and then we'd revert right back to walking at a snail's pace. I never thought of running as exercise that I needed. I always thought it was something that was just a pain in the ass. Something I had to do to pass a class. I'm sure my health classes taught me otherwise but I obviously didn't want anything to do with it.

Times have a-changed.

I was running yesterday and I got lost in the motions of running. When I focus on the people around me or the act of actually moving my feet, one by one, I get mentally distracted by the whole thing. It's takes too much effort to pay attention to the details. But if I just put my mind on a soft focus and let  the thoughts come and go and listen to the music coming from the headphones I can get lost in running. I ran two miles yesterday without even realizing it. I wasn't going particularly fast (4.8 mph) and I wasn't going on hills or anything but it was just what I needed to think about things that have been on my mind lately. I didn't come to any grand conclusions or make any grand plans but I got a moment to really let my brain go on and on all while my feet were going on and on.

I can't believe I never did this before. I can't believe I was so prejudiced about something I'd never even given a chance. I run because I actually really like it. I like the feeling of "Wow! My body can do this and it's not going to die!". I feel so proud of my feet and legs and my heart and lungs and all my parts when I'm done running. They supported me and didn't fail me and I am ridiculously proud of that.

I'm going running tonight and I really can't wait to tie up the laces on my new running shoes, to pull my hair from my face, to turn up the speed on the treadmill and to just lose myself in the motions. It's my 'me' time and I'm so, so happy I found that thing that makes me happy.