My Grand Illusions

Happenings

It's been an eventful last few weeks. Actually it's been an eventful last few months and years! But the last few weeks have been good ones...

Both my boys started school at the end of August. I forced them both to pose for photos, as you can tell. Jackson was pleased to bust out his cheesy grin and I was shocked to get Derick to even crack a little smile for me. Jackson started kindergarten which we all know is a BIG DEAL and he was so excited to go to school, I hope that excitement lasts. Derick, well, he should have been starting his senior year of school but he's been "lazy" ( his word) and he's re-taking several 10th and 11th grade classes. But he seems to be doing better this year so hopefully he'll get back on track quickly.

Jackson was just SO THRILLED to start kindergarten. I walk him into school everyday and pick him up everyday. I'm really fortunate that my employer (hi Mom and Dad!) are very flexible with me and my schedule so I'm able to be there to get him after school each day and hang out with both my boys in the afternoon and I just love being able to do that for/with them. Jackson and I really like his teacher, she's just a lovely woman. I even baked her cookies last week I like her so much!

I just celebrated my 35th birthday on September 3rd. I am not entirely sure how I made it to 35 so fast but I'm here and honestly, it's not too bad! I feel 25, look like I'm 22 (just agree with me!) and have so, so many good things and people surrounding me that I feel immensely lucky to have made it this far in life in relatively one piece.

Now that I'm 35 and officially a REAL adult I decided to skip next months book club pick. The subject matter of divorce just doesn't really appeal to me especially since I'm a newly married lady. I've skipped only one other book club pick this year because I was super busy at work so I sort of feel like I'm cheating on my ladies by intentionally skipping this book but thankfully I have some awesome book club friends who could care less. I'm reading a different book instead that I'm quite enjoying.

Duvain and I got a wedding gift we registered for last week and I will tell you I was SO EXCITED because we literally had only gotten one of our registered gifts before we got these Crate and Barrel dishes. (Note to potential brides...etiquette says not to include registry information in your wedding invitations but if you don't you'll likely get things you don't want. Lesson learned.)

Lastly...

Duvain's 40th birthday is in February and he's talked about seeing the Northern Lights as THE thing he'd like to do to celebrate. Unfortunately February is smack dab in the middle of tax season so I can't take a long trip but I've managed to squeeze a few days off (again, thanks Mom and Dad!) to make Duvain's birthday wish come true. We are researching and planning a trip to...

Iceland! I'm super excited about! I was thinking we'd meet in the middle between Texas and Wales. I realize this isn't really a location in the middle but it's a good compromise. The temperature in iceland is balls-cold during February so I'll just have to remember to bring an extra warm pair of gloves and a fuzzy hat. If you know much about Iceland and care to share tips or info I'd be grateful...

I"m off to go researching how to survive in a place called ICELAND OMG I'VE LOST MY MIND.

 

I read magazines sideways

I'm reading the September 2010 issue of House Beautiful sideways.

Ok, actually, I'm only looking at the magazine sideways on this particular page because I'm browsing the book selection of this homeowner and I'm salivating at the same time. Having a library, or even just a wall, dedicated to just books is a dream of mine.  

Do you look at the book titles in magazines?

Forced

I've not been a very consistent blogger as of late, have I? When I open a fresh, new window to start writing about something, I've been feeling like whatever I write about will be forced. The few posts I've written lately were written with ease and little thought, which is the way I prefer to write a blog post. I don't like having to sit down, think of a topic, think some more, write a few words, mull it over, think some more, etc... I just like it to flow.

I went and saw Eat Pray Love this weekend and absolutely adored it. In my opinion it was leaps and bounds better than the book, which I never even finished because I couldn't stomach the words anymore. Perhaps it was because when I read it I was knee-deep in newborn baby spit-up trying to make a failing relationship work and I was in the wrong frame of mind. So, I'm watching this movie this weekend and I mentally wrote a blog post all about how I feel like the ideas in the movie relate to me and it just flowed.

Of course, when I sat down today to write all about it my mind sort of went blank. I know what I want to say but when it comes from my fingers it gets all jumbled up and the words just sort of plunk themselves in this little posting window and sound all wrong. Let's see if I can make this flow the right way.

Elizabeth, the main character, lost herself. Actually I think she never knew herself to begin with. Sure, she probably knew what her favorite color was and if she preferred a tropical vacation as opposed to one in the cold, bitter arctic. But she didn't know her real self. Her life revolved around others and not herself. Doesn't that seem to happen to women a lot? We define ourselves based on what our kid's or our spouses or our friends are and not who we are.

I identify with that. I went from being a teenager to being a mother in one fell swoop. I didn't have those years of finding out who I really was. These last few years I've been working through that mess of what I thought versus what I know. I thought I would never have the money to travel and see the world. Now I know that I just have to save the money and do it. I thought I wanted a big, fancy house with designer touches throughout. Now I know I'm happier when I have less stuff. I thought lots of things and I'm learning to know other things. I'm learning to know myself. And boy it's hard to get to know yourself, especially when you have children, a family, a job and other things moving in incessant circles around you.

Without leaving the country I'm doing the same things Elizabeth did. I'm wading through this life with no idea what I'm doing or how I'll get there but I'm trying to get there. I'm trying to find out who I really am. What makes me really happy. And what I want this life to be made of. Some days it's a boring existence, other days it's exhilarating. But one thing I know for sure is that I don't want it to be forced.

Did you see the movie? What did you think?

Want to join in the fun?

See that little badge in the far bottom right column? The one that looks like this:

 
It's a new book clubI joined. But it's not your average book club, it's a Foodie Book Club! We're going to read all about food! I'm so fascinated by food and how people choose food and the origins of foods and preparation and, well, anything having to do with food so this is a perfect book club for me.  

You can see the first three books that we're reading if you click on this link. The first book, which I'm so interested to read is:

The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain. I'm actually a bit nervous to read about him eating a "freshly slaughtered seal", but I'm hoping to learn a thing or two and that can't be a bad thing. Also, Anthony is dirty hot in my book, sort of like Johnny Depp.

If you're interested in reading about food and talking about it, please come on over and join us!

Goodreads

I'm a huge fan of reading. I'll read most anything if it's good. I like autobiographies, fiction, self-help, anthologies, anything. The problem with reading though, for me, is that my memory fails me quite often. I have favorite books and I can tell you about them but I often can't remember the title or the author and I wanted a way to keep track of what I've read. Enter Goodreads.

I've actually been a member since January 2008 and I've got a handful of friends but I'm always on the look out for more. Are you on Goodreads? Are we friends on Goodreads? If you aren't on Goodreads, go! sign up! be my book reading friend! Go to my profile and make me your friend.

If you aren't on Goodreads, tell me what books you've read this year that you loved. I'm always in the market to fill up more space in my bookcase.

Here are a few of my favorite books that I read in 2009:

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

Such an easy read with characters I really enjoyed.

Freedom in Exile: The Autobiography of Dalai Lama by Dalai Lama XIV

This book makes me want to go to TIbet. I found this book so fascinating and now I want to know more about the Tibetans and the Dalia Lama.

A Gesture Life: A Novel by Chang-Rae Lee

A great story that really made me think about my own life.

The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan

I'll never look at mushrooms the same again.

People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks

This is probably up there in my top 10 favorite books. 

City of Thieves by David Benioff

I just finished this yesterday. Usually when I finish a book it goes in the pile to be sold or donated or listed on Paper Back Swap*. I love this book so much that I'm keeping it and adding it to my list of favorite books of all time. I may even re-read it which is something I rarely do.

I've read more than just these books in 2009. These are just a few of the books I've enjoyed. I hope to read a few more books in 2010. I have a goal of around 30-ish books. I definitely have enough books at home that I've not read to accomplish that goal. Perhaps I should have a goal to not purchase anymore books until I've read the ones I do have. Perhaps.

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If you go to and join Paperbackswap.com, list me as your referrer, please! I'll get a credit! This site is awesome for swapping books for free (minus the postage). I highly recommend it.

The Kind Diet

I was alerted to a new book, The Kind Diet, by Alicia Silverstone recently by a friend. She knows I'm a vegan and thought I might be interested in this new book. Right she was, thanks Jess! I inhale books about veganism and healthy eating and things of that nature. One of the reasons I read these types of books is because sometimes life gets a bit harried and messy and I lose my way and I want the reminders of why I choose this lifestyle.

Our culture is surrounded by shiny advertisements for foods that are unhealthy to our environment, our bodies and our children. Everywhere I look is a reminder of what I gave up but that reminder of why is something I have to keep on the forefront of my mind. It's so, so easy to fall back into the old habits, the easy way, the comfortable way. My lifestyle isn't always the easiest or the most comfortable for those around me but it's right for me and I feel better about my short time on this Earth.

I'm not a quote person, I don't remember things that were said or written very often. I don't often read things in books or magazines or on the Internet that I feel compelled to etch into my memory, I just don't work that way. I need to hold a memory in my hand or feel it brush up against me to be reminded. I need to smell a memory or see a monumental thing to hold it close to my heart. It's my way. But I read a paragraph in this book that really spoke to me, so much so that I actually re-wrote it down to remember it:

Being a superhero is really about trusting nature, which is magical and transformative. You are healthier, more powerful, and more intuitive than you know, but lousy foods have kept you stuck and weak. By embracing all the superhero foods and letting go of everything that holds you back, you allow nature to scrub you clean to reveal your natural superpowers.

When I read this I had no idea what the term "superhero" or "superhero foods" were but I assumed they were whole, natural, organic, good-for-you foods (I was right). I struggle by letting things hold me back and not letting my inner intuition take over. I often sabotage myself so often in many aspect of my life (don't a lot of women?). Especially in the eating well category. Sure I don't eat meat or dairy anymore but I sure was not feeding myself "superhero" foods on a regular enough basis. I have been deeply inspired.

I want those superpowers to take over and make me a better person. When I feel good about myself I treat others well and when others feel they are valued and loved than they pass it along. It's a giant snowball effect that starts with me. Eating well and really, truly taking care of myself is so much more than what I eat at each meal but it's something I have to do to survive. I have to feed myself and I choose to heal myself from the inside out. It's the logical thing, to me, to do.