My Grand Illusions

Anyone there?

Uh. So. I haven't posted here since AUGUST of LAST YEAR. This is shame full, isn't it?

I'll be brutally honest. I never finished my road trip posts because Duvain and I were not in the best of places and we actually stopped speaking for a short time in September, 2 days before my birthday. I just couldn't bring myself to write another word about anything because I needed time to process it all in my own mind before I spewed it all over the Internet. Nearly half a year has passed since I last posted anything here and how things have changed. Since August I've gone to Wales again for 3.5 weeks and Duvain just left 3 days ago after being here for 5 weeks. We're seriously talking about him moving here (fingers crossed!) and we talk about plans to accomplish that everyday almost. I'm exceptionally happy and in love and everything seems to be falling into place. It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone, I think he and I both figured that one out fast. So we're on a similar path together and trying to make it all work one day at a time.

Other things since my last posting?

I turned 34 and let me say that my 30's are WAY better than my 20's ever were. BRING ON THE DIRTY 30'S! Jennie, her momma and I went to Santa Fe for a long weekend and it was perfect in every way. I recommend going to Santa Fe, definitely.

I ran another half marathon (in Vegas) and didn't die. YAY! My time was a few minutes slower but I felt infinitely better this time than I did during that first half. I'm running yet another half in a week and let's just say that I've run about 2 feet in preparation so I imagine I'll be crawling most of that race.

Since August I've gained weight despite running a jillion miles to train for the Vegas half. This is SO RUDE and FRUSTRATING, especially after working so hard! I started eating better just yesterday and am determined to get my shit together. I have my favorite designer jeans hanging in my bathroom where I can see them every single day. My food today has consisted of 90% spinach so it would seem I'm off to a good start. Let's hope I don't turn a shade of green.

My boys are still my boys except when they act like heathens (ha!). Derick is doing terrible in high school and I'm waiting for him to have hi AH HA moment and realize he's only hurting himself. He's just like his mother. Jackson is mere weeks from being 5 and he's SO EXCITED he might actually burst into flames from the excitement. I love those kids even when they make me crazy.

As for the future? Duvain left half his clothes and shoes here because he'll be back in a few months and I sent him with tons of my clothes and shoes so I can come visit him over the summer. We might be chatting about really long term commitments (if you get my drift) and I couldn't be more excited.

Life is pretty grand on the whole and I couldn't ask for much more. How are YOU? I hope you're life is happy and healthy and full of adventures.

Bad blogger!

It's been a jillion years since I blogged last. I blame tax season and lack of wanting to write anything lately.

I've done SO MUCH lately that I want to talk about, though. Things like run a half-marathon without croaking, join an awesome book club, had a new nephew (!!!) and talk endlessly about Duvain coming to visit here for three months (he gets here in two weeks!).

I'll be back soon. Promise. Only 6 days left of hell tax season.

In the meantime I'll leave you with a few pictures...

 
Half-Marathon finisher with Natalie. (Excuse the creepy guy in the background.)

 
Jackson and I have put our ENO hammock to good use lately. Go get one, you won't be sorry.

 
The day my nephew was born I scored my highest score EVER against his mother. Sorry, Jenni!

 
My nephew, Wesley. I LOVE HIM!

 
I'm counting the days I get to snuggle with Jackson more.

 
Girl's night on Saturday was MUCH NEEDED. Hi Julie! (Jennie's photo.)

 
One of my favorite people. (Jennie's photo.)

2010 : A recap with a few photos

I'm a litle late to the party but here's a recap of 2010. (Where DID THE YEAR GO!? It went so fast!)

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

I ran two 5k's and a 10k. I also took not one, but two international flights. I visited 5 new countries. I took my teenager to get his driving permit.

 (A sweaty photo taken after my 10k)

 
(Derick taking his driving test)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Out of the the 7 things I choose to focus on I did about 4.5 of them. I really have a hard time making resolutions and then keeping them. This year I considered making a few resolutions but I decided against it. Instead I'll just try to be the best version of myself.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not that I recall, not anyone close to me. Although there were quite a few babies born this past year that I heard about.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?

England, Wales, France, Scotland and Spain. It's been a whirlwind travel year!

 
(Scotland)

 
(Wales)

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010?

My oldest son home with me for good. Not just to visit for the summer and holidays.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

Well, I counted down the dates to Derick coming home for the summer, the dates for me to go to The UK and the dates for my 10K so those dates stick in my mind the most.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Running that 10k and not stopping once. (!!!)

9. What was your biggest failure?

Gaining some of the weight that I had worked so hard to keep off.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I did crash on my head attempting to snowboard in November and that was pretty awful. I also had wicked sinus infections right before I left for the The UK, both times! Lastly, I crashed my mountain biking a few times but it wasn't anything that would keep me from riding my bike again.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Airlines tickets to all the places I managed to go this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I have to say my oldest son, Derick. He's really growing into himself. It's been fun to watch him become the person he's going to be and form the opinions he's working on. We've had conversations about so many important things like if you're born gay or if it's a choice, responsibility as a parent, the way kids treat other kids and how to be comfortable in your own skin no matter what. He's an amazing, if quiet, kid and I really admire him.

 
(Derick at home for Christmas.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My ex-husband. I thought he had changed but it turns out he's the same old same old.

14. Where did most your money go?

House payment, bills and travel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to visit Duvain both times, finally making it to Paris, meeting my parents, Aunt and Grandma in Barcelona, paying off another credit card, going to New York with Derick.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Probably Black Eyed Peas, I Gotta Feeling. Don't hate me. Also, Usher's OMG (I know.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) Definitely happier b) fatter (!!!) c) richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Kept on eating well and losing weight.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Eat! Gah!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Derick flew home two days before Christmas so I got to spend Christmas morning with both my boys and then we headed to my mom and dad's house and spent all day there with my family. It was nice. Really nice.

 
(My boys, playing the Wii.)

21. Did you fall in love with 2010?

For the most part I sure did. I travelled around the world, literally. I found a partner in crime to travel with me. I proved to myself that I could run longer distances.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I watched Project Runway, Top Chef and way too many of the stupid Housewives shows. I can't believe I watch so many reality shows. Also, Chuck and I sort of fell in love with How I Met Your Mother.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Nope. I've only hated one person in my whole life and that didn't last long.

24. What was the best book you read?

I really enjoyed The Last American Man and the Hunger Games series, which surprised me.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Definitely Biffy Clyro. See a video of my favorite of his song here. GO LISTEN!

26. What did you want and get?

Time with Duvain, several vacations and less debt.

27. What did you want and not get?

Derick moving back home. I miss that messy teenager.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?

I'm definitely saying Toy Story 3 and How To Train Your Dragon even though I've seen them both a billion times. None of the grown up movies I saw stick in my mind as being particularly memorable. This answer just proves my mommy-hood is out there in full swing.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went out to dinner with friends at an Indian food place and then we went for drinks at a local bar. It was nice and low-key and I loved it. I turned 33 and ya know what? 33 isn't too awful.

 
(With a few of my best friends.)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I have to say having Derick and Duvain closer to me would have made year that much better.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?

I tried to be put together, comfortable and slightly on the blingy side with my accessories.

32. What kept you sane?

My family, my kids, my friends, my international calling card, MSN messenger and napping.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

The debate about marriage between gays. WHO CARES. Love is love is love. If someone wants to marry another someone let them. Sheesh.

34. Who did you miss?

All of my family and friends that are far enough away that I can't see them nearly as often as I want to.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

I met so many of Duvain's family and that was really awesome. Every single one of them were nothing but lovely to me and they treated me like family and I really and truly appreciated that.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Despite thinking I couldn't be athletic it turns out that with a little perseverance and good running shoes I can.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Uh, I have NO IDEA. I love music and I know the words to songs but I don't often pay attention to the point of a song.

*********

This past year was an overall really good one. There were some lows but the highs outweighed every single low. I am blessed with so many great friends, a lovely family and my children, I can't really ask for much more.

Here's to a happy 2011 to everyone...I hope it rocks your socks off.

Nearly Vegan

I made the choice to go vegan nearly 2 1/2 years ago and it's been an interesting road. I gave up all forms of animal products including eggs, dairy, butter and the like. Honestly it wasn't that difficult because you can find a vegan replacement for almost anything these days. If I missed cream cheese I'd just pick up some vegan cream cheese which tastes almost exactly like regular cream cheese (it's really yummy, I swear). If I wanted buttered bread, no problem at all. There's nothing short of a thousand vegan varietes of margarine. Some days all I wanted was a juicy burger with a side of fries and we all know there are many veggie burgers on the market.

Over the last 2 1/2 years I've discovered so many new vegetables, fruits and grains and new ways to prepare the old stand-bys I had been eating all my life. I discovered my love for green smoothies, quinoa and Field Roast faux meat products. My pantry, fridge and freezer have a plethora of vegan food items that keep me satisfied and can feed my little family with no trouble at all.

The other thing I've learned over the last 2 1/2 years is that traveling as a vegan is a bit of a challenge. I've done a fair amount of traveling lately and I've resigned myself to the fact that when I travel or go out with friends/family I'm nearly vegan. (Thanks Mark Bittman for that term.) When I was in Wales in May I ate a few hard boiled eggs and I know that there was cheese on some of the foods I ate. When I go to a friend's house for dinner I don't obsess over the posibility that there might be dairy in the ravioli they're going to serve me. A friend recently got married and made me promise I would eat some of her wedding cake despite that fact that I'm sure it had eggs and milk in it. I did eat that cake and it was the best wedding cake I'd ever had. Would I serve a non-vegan cake at my own wedding? Probably not. But I didn't mind eating her cake at all.

Perhaps you're wondering why? Well the truth is, one reason I became a vegan was for the sake of compassion of all living creatures and it occurred to me that my friends, family and myself are living creatures, too. I wanted to be compassionate toward myself and others. I don't want to put myself in a situation where I refuse a dinner date with a wonderful friend because they might have cheese on a dish. The loss of that human connection isn't worth one meal that isn't entirely vegan. I don't want to impart my self-imposed restrictions on others and make them uncomfortable. I think that defeats the entire purpose of being a vegan.

Some strict vegans might blast me for me for not being the example all the time. They might chastise me for letting a hard boiled egg pass my lips now and again. They might cry "But you're defeating the purpose!", and I sort of agree. But my compromise is worth it, to me. I really try to not be the kind of vegan who spouts out statistics and facts and makes crude comments about the food that others eat (sometimes it happens, I won't lie), I want people to learn from example. I want people to know they can avoid animal products and also enjoy living life with their friends and families. I want people to be inspired by me, not dread my rules and restrictions. I want to lead by example...

So, here it is. I'm nearly vegan.

There, I said it, and I feel 100% OK with it.

A post about why it sucks to get older

Y'all, the number one reason it sucks to get older is the recovery time when you injure yourself. Honestly, I though perhaps I was just imagining it but no, it's true. First I noticed that my bruises were more of an angry purple color instead of a lovely shade of lilac. Then I noticed that those angry bruises were lingering around for much longer than usual. Oh boy, I'm showing all of my 33 years, aren't I?

A few weeks ago I went mountain biking* with a friend and I flew off my bike and landed, face-first, into the ground. There was some blood, dirt up my nose and some cuts here and there. Somehow I managed to hit a tree stump and instead of going over it, that rude tree stump just stopped my bike in an instant. So my lower belly landed on my handle bars and my face landed on the ground and I was a hot mess. But, as with every fall, I was laughing because how cool is it to have an injury from mountain biking! All my teeth were still there and the blood loss was minor so I got back on my bike and kept on going.

The next day was when I knew for sure that I'd fallen on my face. Right on my left eyebrow I had a goose egg** that no amount of eyebrow pencil would cover, my left cheek was so tender to the touch that I opted for no makeup for days because it hurt too much, my lip was swollen in a way that didn't make me look like Angelina, my lower belly had a bruise the size of a orange on it and I had some of those angry purple bruises on my legs. I was a sight to behold!

I'm still recovering from this crash and it's been weeks! The bruises are just now turning that greenish/yellow shade. My cheek and eyebrow are finally not swollen and I can apply makeup without wincing. I'm astounded at how long it's taking to feel back to normal again. The worst was over, I thought.

Ha Ha. Not so fast, Kristie. My newest injury happened last Wednesday. A dear friend of mine is trying out for Roller Derby so she's been practicing a lot lately at the local skating rink. I happen to own my own pair of skates and I skate OK so I go with her on occasion. I can't remember the last time I fell, honestly, I really can't. I can do cross-overs and go from skating forward to backward with relatively no problems. I can stop just fine and have pretty good balance. In short, I feel fairly comfortable on skates. I'm no fancy skater but I can hold my own, so I was totally shocked when I was rolling my way over to set my purse in a locker to have my feet fly out from underneath me and land squarely on my ass. The pain was so bad at one point I thought I was going to throw up.

It's been over a week now and I can finally sleep and bend over. I still can't lay on my back or sit squarely on a chair for long periods of time. I can't run and only just managed to walk on the treadmill going 2.5 mph. It's honestly been a pain in the ass. Pun intended! I am still in shock that falling like that could injure a person so much. Wy is it taking so long to heal? Oh yes, it's because of that thing called aging.

I suppose I shouldn't complain too much. I get the chance to be active and go out with my friends. I have the means to own a bike and a pair of skates. I'm not so injured that I won't go mountain biking or roller skating again. In fact I have plans to go biking this weekend. This recovery period sure does blow, though.

My mom says I should take up a less aggressive activity. I suggest knitting but then it was pointed on that I'd probably sit on the knitting needle and I hate to say it but I think she's probably right! Perhaps watching paint dry is the way to go. Ha!

:::::::::

*I know I said I went mountain biking and technically that's what it's called but we don't have a single mountain in this part of Texas. We might have an ant hill, but that's about it. But still, some of the trails around here are brutal. Hence how I landed on my face.  

**Once, my oldest son (when he was maybe 6) got a goose egg on his head and I had never seen or heard of them before and I panicked thinking his brain was about to explode through his forehead. Thankfully a boyfriend at the time was there to reassure me his brain was fine.

Oh man! Mommy guilt!

The below post I actually wrote yesterday (Tuesday) but didn't finish it. I thought it would be interesting to see what I wrote while contemplating my delimna and how my thoughts have changed since I put into action my plan to solve this delimna:

So, Jackson started his new school last week and it's going well so far. I don't have much to report except that today is his second day and he didn't refuse to go, so that's a bonus and when I dropped him off this morning he waved at me and turned his back to me to play with the plastic dinosaurs he loves so much. This is a good sign and I should feel good that he seems to enjoy being there and let the mommy guilt go.

BUT I CAN'T.

You see, his old sitter was on the way to the gym so on the days I'd want to go the workout I'd pick him up and take him with me. Granted I'd drop him off at the gym daycare for an hour and go do my thing. But he was so close. Now? His new school is right by our house which means if I go get him and take him to the gym I'd be going backward which is a waste of time and money. Today I'm going to get off work, go the gym alone while he's at school and then go get him and I feel horribly guilty about this.

Someone slap me? Please?

It's not like I'm going to the local bar to do body shots with the regulars. I'm going to workout and take care of myself so I can be healthy and fit and happy. Why is there so much mommy guilt then?

So, that's the post I wrote before I headed out to the gym. As I was driving to my gym I felt awful for making my poor kid wait for me. While I selfishly plugged in my ear buds to my iPod and pushed the 'start' button the treadmill I imagined him waiting by the door with little tears in his eyes just counting the seconds until I walked in the door.

Normally I work out for an hour or a bit more but I allowed myself only 30 minutes because I figured with the rain and traffic that a 30 minute workout would get me sweating and feel like I've done something but I wouldn't be late to pick up Jackson before school closed.

Something interesting happened in those 30 minutes. I worked out harder than I normally do, so much so that I was a red-faced, sweaty mess when I arrived at Jackson's school. As I was running as fast as my legs would take me I kept an eye on the clock almost the entire time but I really took advantage of those precious 30 minutes I'd allotted myself. When my self-appointed time was up I high-tailed it out of there as fast as I could to get to Jackson's school.

I bet you can tell what happened when I got there. He was having a good time and hardly wanted to leave! He was just fine and could have cared less that I didn't get there immediately after work. My guilt was still hanging on, though, and I apologized to his teacher. She just laughed it off and said it was no big deal and that was that.

That was that. Huh. I had taken all that mental time feeling guilty and I had almost talked myself out of even going to the gym. I'm sure glad I didn't. Take THAT mommy guilt!

Television

I'm horribly addicted to watching television. I sort of knew that was the case but this morning proved it without a shadow of a doubt. I decided to leave the tv off for the entire day and see what I could get done without the distraction of recorded reality shows and re-runs of my favorite network shows. The first hour or so I managed to waste time on Twitter and eBay with a minute or so on Facebook. The next hour I spent moving books around on my bookshelf, color-coding each shelf and wondering why I buy so many books when I have so many I still need to read. The next hour was spent re-arranging the dusty knickknacks I have around my living room and then I got the wild notion to start moving artwork around. I moved a beloved painting from one wall to another wall and moved another print to fill in a blank space on another wall. Then I realized I needed a filler piece of something on my mantel so I stood in the corner of my living room analyzing everything and that's when I realized I am addicted to television!

I'm so awful about getting Jackson to bed and then switching the television on and literally going into a television-induced-coma. I can spend 3 hours watching crap tv all while avoiding things I need to do like the dishes or dust the 9 inch layer of dust that's been lingering on the top of the bookshelf for 3 years. But what I realized today, also, was that I am missing out on doing the things I like to do! I sort of like rearranging stuff in my house. I like the challenge of redoing spaces without spending a penny but I can't do that when I'm sitting on my sofa engrossed in yet another episode of Danielle drama on RHONJ (Guys, please tell me you also think she's certifiable!). All those color-coded books aren't getting read which is a total shame because over the years I've picked up some good ones that I'm dying to read.

So, um, I'm quitting television. Not all the way quitting, although I don't think that's an entirely bad idea. But I'm quitting it a few days a week. I think I'm going to make my kids quit tv also. I can't handle another viewing of 'A Bugs Life' or 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse'. We need to get away from the electronic way of entertaining ourselves. There are books to read, toys to play with, bikes to ride and cleaning to be done. There are books to color-code and knickknacks to rearrange for pete's sake!

Have you ever quit television or limited yourself? How did it work out for you? Are you watching television now while reading this and playing Words With Friends on your iPhone?

Perceptions

I really have neglected this little 'ol blog I have going on here lately. Honestly, I have SO MANY, MANY things I want to talk about in great detail but when I sit down to write something it turns into a jumbled mess in my mind and I just can't put forth the effort to articulate all this stuff that's going on in my brain. Also, I've been really busy doing things since I've been back from vacation. New things! Things I never thought I'd do or participate in.

I can recall many moments in my life when I learned a new way to do something, or saw something from someone else's point of view or just learned something I hadn't known before and it changed my whole perception of my reality as I had always known it. I've been busy these last few weeks altering my reality based on new ways of doing things that I wasn't even aware existed. Let's review two of those things:

Bicycling and camping.

Bicycling and camping are not new ideas to me. I've done them both. I've always participated in doing both activities on some level but never with much vigor or excitement because it turns out I was doing one the wrong way and one I was doing the hard way.

I've been camping as an adult twice (before this trip) and it was fun. Not exciting or awesome!!!, just fun. I remember with both times that there was so much planning and preparation. I hadn't realized that it's possible to over-plan a camping trip to the point that I can see why some people would just pack a suitcase and hit up the local Holiday Inn for the night. The camping we did in Wales was the opposite of what I had done before. Sure, we had to plan and prepare but it was so different. We decided, last minute, to hike to the top of a mountain and camp overnight to watch the sun rise in the morning. There were no stops to get ice to fill coolers. We didn't worry about the fact that our breakfast the next morning was a simple one, that was sort of the point. We had a camp stove that was so easy to assemble, light and cook on so we didn't stress over bringing firewood or needing matches or fire-starter materials. We didn't bring pillows or random crap we really didn't need. We were both able to carry everything we needed in two backpacks. I couldn't even believe it! The last time I had camped our gear took up the entire trunk of an extended van. I had no idea that *I* could participate in an overnight camping adventure on top of a mountain that didn't involve loads of planning and equipment.

On a 3-day camping extravaganza I discovered what I could and couldn't live without. It was an eye opening experience. In the end I whittled my necessities down to chapstick and a cellphone (just in case, ya know!). I left behind all the makeup I normally wear, jewelry (except the rings I never take off), fancy hair products and all the other crap I use every single day. I left my vanity out in the Welsh countryside and it was the best choice I made. Now, don't get me wrong, I had a few moments where I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and realized that my eyebrows were a tad unruly, my hair needed a good washing and a little concealer would do wonders to my complexion but the freedom of pitching a tent just a few yards from the ocean and falling asleep to the sound of the water just made my unruly eyebrows seem so unimportant.

The thing I was most surprised about camping had to do with food. I always thought the best camping was done with coolers full of ice, food and drinks. How wrong I was! We didn't have a cooler in sight or one single ice cube. With the little camp stove, water, some packaged noodles, rice and other various foods, we ate like kings. We did stop at a grocery store at one point to get a few things but even that was different. We didn't worry about the room it would take up in a cooler, we didn't have to worry about refilling melting ice, we just didn't worry, period. It was so freeing and refreshing. I had no idea that camping could be so carefree. But it makes sense that it is and it's so funny to me that I always though camping was this big production that required all this strenuous work and drudgery. I had no idea it could be so much fun and so easy at the same time. I'm stoked to take my boys out exploring.

(If it tells you how excited I am, I spent over an hour last night looking on the REI website at camping gear. *nerd alert*)

 

The other way we'll be exploring is on our bikes.

I've had a bike for most of my life, probably like most people. I remember learning to ride my bike even. I even bought one of those kid's seat things that attaches to the back of my bike so I could take Jackson for bike rides but I hardly ever took him. The reason I rarely took him is because of this one hill. It was the kryptonite to my Superman. Texas is supremely flat and yet this one fucking hill always kept me from taking Jackson bike riding. I'd get to the bottom of this hill and have to huff and puff my way up the tiny, nothing of a hill only to be exhausted once I got to the top. I always thought that my bike riding skills were total crap and I'd never be Lance Armstrong by any stretch of the imagination.

While in Wales we talked about going for a bike ride and I eventually put two and two together. Hills + my bike riding skills = sucktacular. I was a total trooper and went along with this bike riding trip but I made sure to let the Mr know that chances are I'd suck at going up the hills and I'd have to walk up them. He nodded his head and said OK, we'd just take it slow and see what happens. I was more nervous about riding the bikes than climbing mountains or hiking in the middle of the night because I knew I sucked at this bike riding business. I was so not looking forward to making a total ass of myself.

We started out on a path that was nothing like anything I'd ever been on. It was rocky and dirt-packed with the occasion tree root in the way. "Oh," I thought, "this is just great." My confidence level plummeted to an all time low when I saw hills ahead. I was on terrain I wasn't familiar with, on a bike I had just started using 2 minutes prior, about to approach a fucking hill and all of this was in front of this man I didn't want to make an ass of myself in front of. "Please earth, just swallow me up. Quickly."

Before we reached the hills I was given a down and dirty lesson on switching gears and when to do so. I barely remember the instructions that were given to me but I managed to pick up on the gist of it all fairly quickly. I found it wasn't too awful riding a bike on a surface that wasn't a smooth road. I figured out how to change the gears and when to do it for the most part and I got a little excited."Look at me", I thought, "I rode a bike on something other than a road". I felt OK about the whole thing and then we approached a dreaded hill.

The hill was ENORMOUS. I'm so not even kidding. It was rocky and steeper than anything I'd ever ridden my bike on and I was about to attempt to ride this bike up the ENORMOUS HILL OMG. I got another quick lesson in using my gears, how to pace myself and let the bike do the work and then we were off...

Y'all, I made it to the top of that hill without stopping once! I couldn't believe that my legs, the same ones that couldn't make up that tiny hill by house, took me up that ENORMOUS hill. It was a total rock star moment for me. I honestly thought I just sucked at riding a bike but it turns out I was doing it all wrong on a bike that's basically only good for scrap metal. It took me a while to get up the hill and I was a little tired at the end but I learned how to ride a bike the right way and MY LEGS TOOK ME TO THE TOP!

We rode our bikes a few more times after that first time and I was genuinely excited to get on and ride. We rode the bikes through a town we camped at, on the beach, in grass, through a forest, up and down hills and it was fucking awesome.

When I came back home I knew I was going to need a new bike. So I got one:

For my purposes it's a good little bike. It's meant for mountain biking, it's so pretty and I have mastered the gears really quickly. I've had it for two weeks now and I've ridden it about 6 times. I AM IN LOVE. The first time I rode it around my neighborhood I nervously decided to attempt riding up THE hill. The same hill that laughed at me every single time I tried to go up it. Physically I knew I would have no problems going up that hill but mentally I was on pins and needles. I kept thinking that maybe I just spent the money on a bike that would have me feeling defeated just like my old bike. I was afraid that stupid hill was going to make me its bitch, again. Turns out my physical self was right. I flew up that hill with no problems. I was all by myself at that moment but I wanted to find someone and share my joy with them. I know it sounds corny but I rode my bike up a hill and it didn't stop once. I own that hill, yo.

Since then I've taken Derick riding in the woods and I've gone with another friend to a trail specially designed for bikes and I knew exactly what to do and how to do it. I've also practiced jumping things like rocks and tree roots and curbs. I like to think that I'm making progress with jumping things and mastering the art of bike riding. I'm having a hell of a time learning and playing and just having a blast with this new way of doing an old thing I've always thought I knew how to do.

I was lamenting just the other day that I can't believe that two things as simple as camping and biking have been permanently changed for me in such a positive way. I really appreciate that someone else's knowledge has been passed on to me and I can pass it on to others, like my kids. I'm truly excited about where this new information takes me and how I can pass it along. Perhaps I can spark that kind of excitement in someone else?

In the meantime, I'll be making overnight camping trip plans or riding my bike all over the Metroplex with a big smile on my face with the feeling that I'm in on some big secret that I can't wait to share with others.

A moment I don't want to forget

Instead of going to workout last night at the gym I made the executive decision to take Jackson to Subway for some veggie subs and then home to watch "Where The Wild Things Are". 

We've been reading the book for a few months now so it was only fitting that we watch the movie. Let me say that Jackson's face lit up when Max yelled "Let the wild rumpus start!!".

We danced and jumped and twirled and pumped our arms in the air and yelled and had our very own rumpus in our living room. Even after the movie was over we continued our rumpus with more laughing and kicking of our legs and shaking our booties. Oh, we had a lovely wild rumpus.

Those are the moments I never want to forget.

I highly suggest having your own wild rumpus. It's extremely cathartic.

The good and the bad

The bad:

• My lack of all things technical frustrates me. I got a new net book and I'd like to be able to use it at home wireless but I haven't a clue why my wireless isn't working and how to even get it to work. I just want things to work like magic.
• My dog, Emma, found a baby rabbit nest and accidentally killed two baby bunnies. The poor momma bunny was looking for her babies last night and it broke my heart.
• I'm not sure if there are more baby bunnies, I can't find the nest, so I've banned Emma from the backyard until I can I figure something out. This means that I can't just let her outside to go to the bathroom, now I'm having to take her for walks several times a day.
• I'm working many 12-hour days which makes the above difficult.
• My house is honestly a total disaster and I can't even stand it. I do a little here and there and it seems to get worse no matter what I do. This is when being a single parent sucks.
• I'm exhausted.
• My neck is hurting more and more everyday. That car accident catches up to me every single tax season.
• I haven't been able to workout in nearly 2 weeks and it's making me angry.

The good:

• Only 21 more days and the crazy work hours will be over, I'll have my weekends back and I'll get to be a regular friend again.
• I got a net book!
• I bought Derick's plane ticket to come home, he'll be here in 71 days and I just can't wait to see him. It's been far too long. He'll be here for almost the whole summer, I am ecstatic.
• I have grand summer plans for my boys and me. In my head I've planned a trip to the museum, a local water park, a fancy kid-centered hotel, lots of parks and walking trails and other fun things I've yet to think of.
• I leave for England in 51 days. Just the thought of boarding that plane makes me giddy. We are possibly going to go to Paris while I'm there and it would be a dream come true to go there. I'm oddly obsessed with the Eiffel Tower.
• I'm saving money on my health insurance finally. Also, my car insurance and homeowner's insurance, thanks to my brother, Patrick, the king of all the great deals.
• Words With Friends. I totally blow at it, but it's fun to use the word Qi over and over again.
• My new banner here on my blog. Do you see it? I need to figure out how to tell the lovely lady who did what size it needs to be so it will fit properly. See there's that technical things again. Anyone know about what size Typepad banners are or where I can find that information?
• Clementine's. It's the one summer-y thing I look forward to in the cold weather.

What are your good and bad things these days?