My Grand Illusions

My son, the teenager

So, Derick's home for Thanksgiving and I couldn't be more excited to have him back, even if for a little while. I wasn't sure if we could arrange his visit here with school and airfare being a jillion dollars but I'm so glad we were able to swing it. He's on an "educational trip" according to his school so his 4 days that he'll miss are excused. He also brought home school work that I intend on cracking the whip about tonight. My Mom managed to find a fairly inexpensive flight for him so I didn't have to sell my kidneys on the black market. So, he's here and I am so glad!

I've already embarrassed him on a grand scale by having yet another sex talk with him. He must hate coming home to his mother talking about sex and condoms and that stupid thing we call responsibility. I don't remember my mom talking to me about sex very often (or I tuned her out, which is possible) so I'm making triple sure that I bring it up often. One, because I want him to know that he can talk to me about this stuff and two, because it's a natural part of life and I don't want sex to be a thing that's so secretive and elusive and only to be seen on HBO late at night. I'm all about the communication.

We've determined that I'm so lame, mom because I listen to music that's so lame. God, I must have been annoying child, I remember having the same exact conversation with my mother. Sorry, Mom! Also, I am super lame about a lot of things. It must be though being a teenager that knows everything. Again, sorry Mom!

It also turns out that sometimes I am not too lame, which is a good thing, for sure. I'm not lame when I accompany Derick into Hollister despite wanting to turn the damn lights on and turn the damn music down so I can hear myself think and see the 16-year-old who's ringing up the expensive sweater that I got swindled into buying. Although I do admit that it wasn't that expensive and I think my kid looks rather dashing in a bright orange hoodie. I'm also not too lame when I watch movies with Derick and he's just as creeped out as I am. We may have alternated between having the lights on and off during the movie. ('I Am Legend', if you're curious.)

He doesn't know that I snooped in his phone this morning to see his text messages. I know, privacy and all that jazz but he's 14 and he's a BOY and he's got a girlfriend and, well, I'm just being cautious. He's in the "I love you" phase with this girl which is funny because they live over a thousand miles apart and I don't understand how you can love someone and choose to live over a thousand miles away. But then I have to remember that he's a TEENAGE BOY and then I get it.

I also get that he's an awesome big brother and Jackson just adores Derick. The sun rises and sets with Derick and it just makes my heart all melty and mushy and I cherish those moments when they are playing and being so sweet with each other and making farting noises and giggling like they have not a care in the world. I love those giggles and the smiles and the belly laughs. It reminds me that I really don't have much to worry about, after all.

Derick is now taller than me officially and I can't deny it. Even though every time he points out that I'm shorter I exclaim that "I'm slouching and not standing up straight, sheesh!" which is really not true. He's taller than me and I knew that day would come where he would look down at his mother and I wouldn't be able to hold him like a baby anymore. He's big enough to grab things off of high shelves for his vertically challenged mom and yet he's still little enough to have to be reminded 800 times to pick up his dirty socks. I'm working on personal hygiene and picking up after himself for his future wife. I hope she appreciates what I'm trying to instill in him.

I'm so glad to have my boys home together at the same time. My house is full of too-loud television, dirty socks and wet bath towels on the floor. It's full of sit-down dinners and text message alerts. It's full of laughs and giggles and loud talking. It's FULL of love and I couldn't be happier or more thankful for this time.

 

Mommy blogging

Mommy blogger alert! Mommy blogger alert! Mommy blogger alert!

Derick is flying home in about a week to visit for Thanksgiving. He'll be home for about 10 days and I just cannot wait till he gets here. I haven't seen him since August when I took him to the airport to go back to his dad's house after spending most of the summer with me. Jackson and I have been talking about how Derick's going to get on a plane and come see us. Jackson thinks planes are the coolest thing ever along with his big brother so it's double excitement for him.

I keep hoping that Derick will come home to visit and decide to stay for good but I know that's probably not going to happen. I've resigned myself to the fact that he's thriving at his dad's house and that's really all I can ask for. He's happy and keeps busy and he's likes it. Honestly, he's a teenage boy and let me tell you, those teenage boy things they go through is for the birds. All those wonky hormones and brain miss-firings and farting is a lot for one momma to handle. Not that I couldn't do it, but it's nice to have a man (his dad) to pick up where I left off. He gets the sex talk every time he comes home, though, I've already planned on this talk already. He'll be so embarrassed!

Derick will only be here for 10 days and I'm still not quite certain if he's going to come home for Christmas. The school he's at just doesn't have long holiday breaks like they do here so his time is limited and I can't have him missing a ton of school. I worry he doesn't come home enough. I worry that he's not bonding  enough with his brother, his cousins and his uncles and grandparents.

What they don't tell you in the parenting books is about the worry and the heartache. Or maybe I missed the chapter for divorced parents where it tells you that eventually your kid will choose one parent over the other and that even though you shouldn't take it personally, you do. I missed that particular paragraph in the Dr. Sears book. Maybe that's because I was too busy trying for the Th time to get Derick to tie his shoes correctly so he wouldn't trip and fall on his perfect little nose that looks just like his dad's. Hell, I'm sure that same scenario happens to parents who are still married. Don't kids gravitate toward one parent over the other eventually?

Speaking of a kid who gravitates to one parent. It irks me that Jackson cries for his daddy when I'm doing things like wiping his butt or his nose or whatever else needs wiping. WHAT IS THAT? It's normal, I know, or so they say so. Last weekend Jackson's dad brought him home from being gone all weekend and Jackson was so excited to see me and I was all HUZZAH!, me kid loves me! Then, not two hours later he was whining about his dad and going to his daddy's house.

INHALE. EXHALE.

Derick was very excited about Halloween this year. Jackson was also excited about Halloween. Derick went through a haunted house with some friends and thought it was hilarious that the girls were freaked out and were screaming like, well, girls. Ah, I remember those high school days of screaming and hoping one of the boys would be my hero and rescue me from the un-dead. Jackson was ecstatic about getting "monies". He calls candy money because once his dad told him it cost money to get candy and the word stuck. I promptly put the non-vegan Halloween "monies" in a pile to give away and the rest is in a bag in the freezer for a rainy or particularly crappy day.

That crappy day might come sooner than later, I'm afraid. My kid cannot get this time change business down and it's killing me slowly. We get up around 8 AM on average which is just fine with me. Occasionally the sleep gods will bless me with an 8:30-9:00 AM wake up time. But not these past few weeks. 5:45 AM, 6:30 AM, whenever-he-damned-well-pleases AM. I've tried laying him down with me which ends with a big toe in my nose and then a big smiley face all up in my business saying "is it time to get up mommy? the sun is up, see". It was cute once or twice and now I'm over it. Please kid, let your momma sleep.

Hey! I have an idea! Maybe I can train Jackson to go wake up Derick at 6 AM when he gets here. That'll help with the bonding time I think they need. And bonus ammo to go along with the sex talk we're going to have. Mommy WIN.