Derick's never been the best in school and he really doesn't like going. He's much like I was when I was a kid. The difference is that he's been tested and it's shown that he's super smart and has the capacity to do excellent in school if he wants to. The 'if he wants to' part is the key. He's definitely capable, no question.
I sent him to live with his dad a few years ago because he was struggling in school and I thought a change of scenery, schools and parents might do him a world of good. Whew boy, was I ever wrong. He moved back home with me this summer and he should have been entering his junior year in high school but because he's so far behind he's still taking freshman and sophomore classes. Some classes he's taking for a 3rd time.
Alright, I thought, we can fix this. Derick was accepted into an accelerated high school that would help him catch up and get back on track and I was so excited for his opportunity. All he had to do was pass his classes for one semester and he'd be ushered right in. He failed 5 of the 7 classes that semester and I never heard from the accelerated school again. You have to be accepted to this school and they don't want kids who don't want to be there. My excitement was squashed.
Derick has had all his privileges taken from him for a while and he said that if he only had all of his privileges he'd work hard to keep them. I call bullshit but OK, let's try it out. Now? He's trying to tell me that a 67 is passing (it's not) and doesn't understand why I'd need to talk to someone about his grades when he swears he's passing. I'm not a dummy and it was quite easy to ask the school counselor if 67 was passing.
Two weeks ago I was alerted to the fact that he was skipping his 4th period class to go to lunch for a second time each day. His excuse was that he was passing that particular class and he was afraid if he kept going he'd screw it up and fail. WTF. What a lame excuse, kid. He'd skipped 9 times that I know of. I was obviously so upset and he said he wouldn't do it again. But. I got a call yesterday saying he's not gone to his 4th period class still. He's been skipping again and now the school is considering calling in a police officer to talk to Derick about the reality that if he's considered truent that he faces juvenile jail time, community service or a fine (that I get to pay). When I talked to the school yesterday I encouraged this meeting. I love this kid more than anything and I think NOT getting into his head how serious these choices are would be the worst thing I could do. He's got to understand the consequences of these choices.
It's hard being a parent, the hardest job in the universe. Why do people chooseto do it? Because at the end of the day Derick is a smart, funny, sweet kid and I adore him most of the time. He's witty and has a silly laugh and knows more about music than I ever did. He calls me mommy sometimes and thanks me on Facebook for bringing him Taco Bell. He's a good kid who is making bad choices and I choose to kick him in the ass until he realizes he's better than this.
Derick, if you ever read this, know that I love you and that's why I yell at you and that's why I want you to get it together and be a productive member of society. I'll do almost anything to help you succeed I just can't do anything until you're ready first.