My Grand Illusions

30 things, #15

15. A photo from your childhood

The universe must be telling me that this is the next thing on the 30 list to post about. Last week my mom randomly texted me this picture:

 
OH MY GOD. This was taken, I'm guessing, around 4th grade ish. I remember thinking I was the shit in my preppy collared shirt and pink bow slapped on the side of my head. And those teeth, THOSE TEETH. Oh my.

Then a few days later I was browsing my bookshelf at home for a new book to read and this picture fell out of the pages of the book I picked:

 
This is football Hall of Famer Jackie Smith. My grandparents owned a restaurant in the 70's and the story about this picture was that I was visiting them at the restaurant and Jackie Smith came in to eat. He played for the St. Louis Cardinals at the time which makes sense because I was born not far from St. Louis and lived there until I was about 5. I would love to know who wrote on this photo because 1) they spelled Jackie's name wrong and 2) my last name is also spelled wrong. I find it so interesting that Mr. Smith finished his football career playing for the Dallas Cowboys which is funny because I've lived in DFW for most of my life.

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Number 1

Number 5

Number 8

 

30 things, #5

5. Meaning behind your blog name

As I was creating this new blog to do away with my old blog I wrestled with a name that wasn't lame and one that would apply for a long time. I didn't want to name my blog after the fact that I'm a mom because really, I'm much more than just a mom. I'm my own person with my own dreams, hopes, wishes, fears and failures. My old blog name related to my mommy-hood so it was definitely time for something new this time around.

I realized, as I was thinking of a name, that I have LOTS of grand plans that I make up often in my head. I live inside this head of mine often dreaming of all sorts of wonderful things that may or may not happen. I wanted my blog name to reflect the grand ideas I have but I also knew that most of those ideas, plans and dreams are just illusions because either 1) it's not possible for me to do everything I ever dreamed of 2) I don't have the drive to accomplish all those things I think of and 3) sometimes dreams are just that, dreams not meant to come to reality.

Sooooooo, I threw all those things together to come up with My Grand Illusions.

I have to throw in a shout out to Cherie who designed my banner because I think it depicts my blog name perfectly. That picture was taken in Wales on a gorgeous spring day. This was a case of my grand plans becoming reality because I had made a plan to go to Wales and I actually went and it was lovely and fun and awesome. Many of my grand plans don't come to fruition but that one did and I love that my blog banner reflects that. Thanks Cherie!

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Number 1

Number 8

30 things, #8

8. Last thing you purchased:

I have a tv in my guest room/office that's at least a jillion years old. It's clunky and heavy as hell. Also, the sound doesn't work which I discovered just a few weeks ago when the Uverse guy kept trying to get the sound to work. Now, I don't have many guests stay overnight and I don't even watch that tv (obviously since I just found out the sound was broken) but in true American fashion I felt the need to have a tv that worked properly for the one and only overnight guest I might host in a few years.

My brother talked me into getting a flat screen tv and I was astonished at the low cost for a 37" HDTV. It's smaller in bulk than my other tv but the screen is the same size, it'll save electricity when it's being used and it just looks better (these are my justifications for buying this tv I didn't really need). So Internet, meet my new tv that should be delivered any day now:

You are more than welcome to come visit my house and stay the night! I'll even let you watch my new tv! Woo!

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More 30 things...

Number 1

30 things, #1

Number one on the 30 things list is:

1. Your work space

So, here it is in all it's glory...

 
 
This is my work space at my office.

I've been at this job since 1995 and in this particular office for about 4 years now. You can see that I have a window which is sort of lovely considering there are days when I don't go outside for 12 hours or more. This office becomes a second home 3 months out of the year. I eat at my desk most days and that chair has my butt print memorized. This office has seen people cry out of anger and happiness. It's seen people yell at me, hug me and tell me lies to my face. I've kicked one person out of this office and invited thousands more to come sit down with me and do their tax return. Many friends over the years have stopped by to say hi and sit with me at this desk and chat or have lunch. I have an intense love/hate relationship with this desk and this office. I hate that I am stuck at a desk for hours upon hours upon hours for long stretches of time. I feel like a fourth of my life, every single year, is passing me by the longer I choose to sit at this desk and do this work. But I also love that the other 3/4 of the year is easy and breezy and I have so many freedoms that others don't have. It's a good work space that I'm lucky to have overall. Plus, the chair ain't half bad.

30 things

Sarah posted a great little blog project thingy in which there's a list of 30 thingys, prompts, whatever you feel like calling it. I think this is great for me because tax season is upon us and my brain mostly turns into mush and I cannot even think of anything witty to write about except taxes and we all know that's not that most entertaining topic.

Chances are I'll take the next 3 months doing this and it will likely be sporatic and chaotic but that's how I do it up in here. Also, I'll likely do it out of order because I can.

1. Your work space
2. The best part of your day
3. Something you refuse to do
4. Last book you read
5. Meaning behind your blog name
6. Talent you wish you had
7. A photo of you without makeup
8. Last item you purchased
9. Something that makes you sad
10. 15 facts about you
11. Your favorite thing right now
12. Best Christmas present you ever got
13. Your favorite teacher
14. Something you’re thankful for
15. A photo from your childhood
16. Something you crave
17. Your worst hair moment
18. Favorite smells
19. Last time you cried
20. Last time you had to apologize to someone
21. Something that scares you
22. Something that really bugs you
23. What you dislike most about your appearance
24. Celebrity crush
25. A trait you deplore in others
26. A photo taken 10 years ago
27. First book/movie/song that moved you
28. What turns you off
29. The story behind one of your scars
30. This was left blank so I suppose I'll come up with a random filler here eventually. Any suggestions? 

2010 : A recap with a few photos

I'm a litle late to the party but here's a recap of 2010. (Where DID THE YEAR GO!? It went so fast!)

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

I ran two 5k's and a 10k. I also took not one, but two international flights. I visited 5 new countries. I took my teenager to get his driving permit.

 (A sweaty photo taken after my 10k)

 
(Derick taking his driving test)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Out of the the 7 things I choose to focus on I did about 4.5 of them. I really have a hard time making resolutions and then keeping them. This year I considered making a few resolutions but I decided against it. Instead I'll just try to be the best version of myself.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not that I recall, not anyone close to me. Although there were quite a few babies born this past year that I heard about.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?

England, Wales, France, Scotland and Spain. It's been a whirlwind travel year!

 
(Scotland)

 
(Wales)

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010?

My oldest son home with me for good. Not just to visit for the summer and holidays.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

Well, I counted down the dates to Derick coming home for the summer, the dates for me to go to The UK and the dates for my 10K so those dates stick in my mind the most.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Running that 10k and not stopping once. (!!!)

9. What was your biggest failure?

Gaining some of the weight that I had worked so hard to keep off.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I did crash on my head attempting to snowboard in November and that was pretty awful. I also had wicked sinus infections right before I left for the The UK, both times! Lastly, I crashed my mountain biking a few times but it wasn't anything that would keep me from riding my bike again.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Airlines tickets to all the places I managed to go this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I have to say my oldest son, Derick. He's really growing into himself. It's been fun to watch him become the person he's going to be and form the opinions he's working on. We've had conversations about so many important things like if you're born gay or if it's a choice, responsibility as a parent, the way kids treat other kids and how to be comfortable in your own skin no matter what. He's an amazing, if quiet, kid and I really admire him.

 
(Derick at home for Christmas.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My ex-husband. I thought he had changed but it turns out he's the same old same old.

14. Where did most your money go?

House payment, bills and travel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to visit Duvain both times, finally making it to Paris, meeting my parents, Aunt and Grandma in Barcelona, paying off another credit card, going to New York with Derick.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Probably Black Eyed Peas, I Gotta Feeling. Don't hate me. Also, Usher's OMG (I know.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) Definitely happier b) fatter (!!!) c) richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Kept on eating well and losing weight.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Eat! Gah!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Derick flew home two days before Christmas so I got to spend Christmas morning with both my boys and then we headed to my mom and dad's house and spent all day there with my family. It was nice. Really nice.

 
(My boys, playing the Wii.)

21. Did you fall in love with 2010?

For the most part I sure did. I travelled around the world, literally. I found a partner in crime to travel with me. I proved to myself that I could run longer distances.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I watched Project Runway, Top Chef and way too many of the stupid Housewives shows. I can't believe I watch so many reality shows. Also, Chuck and I sort of fell in love with How I Met Your Mother.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Nope. I've only hated one person in my whole life and that didn't last long.

24. What was the best book you read?

I really enjoyed The Last American Man and the Hunger Games series, which surprised me.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Definitely Biffy Clyro. See a video of my favorite of his song here. GO LISTEN!

26. What did you want and get?

Time with Duvain, several vacations and less debt.

27. What did you want and not get?

Derick moving back home. I miss that messy teenager.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?

I'm definitely saying Toy Story 3 and How To Train Your Dragon even though I've seen them both a billion times. None of the grown up movies I saw stick in my mind as being particularly memorable. This answer just proves my mommy-hood is out there in full swing.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went out to dinner with friends at an Indian food place and then we went for drinks at a local bar. It was nice and low-key and I loved it. I turned 33 and ya know what? 33 isn't too awful.

 
(With a few of my best friends.)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I have to say having Derick and Duvain closer to me would have made year that much better.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?

I tried to be put together, comfortable and slightly on the blingy side with my accessories.

32. What kept you sane?

My family, my kids, my friends, my international calling card, MSN messenger and napping.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

The debate about marriage between gays. WHO CARES. Love is love is love. If someone wants to marry another someone let them. Sheesh.

34. Who did you miss?

All of my family and friends that are far enough away that I can't see them nearly as often as I want to.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

I met so many of Duvain's family and that was really awesome. Every single one of them were nothing but lovely to me and they treated me like family and I really and truly appreciated that.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Despite thinking I couldn't be athletic it turns out that with a little perseverance and good running shoes I can.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Uh, I have NO IDEA. I love music and I know the words to songs but I don't often pay attention to the point of a song.

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This past year was an overall really good one. There were some lows but the highs outweighed every single low. I am blessed with so many great friends, a lovely family and my children, I can't really ask for much more.

Here's to a happy 2011 to everyone...I hope it rocks your socks off.

Vacation, Part 3 (Sunny Wales, again)

Part 1 Part 2

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One of my favorite places in North Wales is Barmouth. It's a lovely little seaside town with mountains that surround it on two sides. We went there during the summer when I visited and I really wanted to go back during the winter. It was, as I expected, much colder and much less populated. The campers in their tents and the sandy beach-goers had packed all their things and headed back to their homes. There were only a few people walking on the beach, the grass was less green and the water was downright chilly but I still really loved it there in that place.

This was the one place I really wanted to go to before I left to go back home. I joked that I would retire in Barmouth and, hey, ya never know.

 
(A view just off the road headed into Barmouth.)

 
(You can see the train tracks that cross the water behind us. Watching the passenger train make it's way over the water and into the mountains is something to behold.)

 
(Boys will do anything won't they? The three kids spent 30 minutes jumping over sand dunes and Duvain and I spent an equal amount of time snapping pictures of them to get just the right one.)

 
(A good pair of water-proof boots is the only way to go. Also, see? Water, beach and mountains?? A trifecta of perfectness.)

The last few days of my visit were filled with visits to everyone in Duvain's family (it's a quite large bunch they have) and a few stops in shops to pick up a souvenir or two. Thankfully we squeezed in a few more stops along the way.

 
(We stopped to see a small waterfall. It cost 30p to use the walkway to get to it. Pay toilets and pay waterfalls! Only in The UK??)

 
(I also picked out my new home.)

On my last day there Duvain and I took some time out from the rushing and stressing about me leaving to climb one more mountain. Moel Arthur is the same mountain that we camped on the top of over the summer. It's an easy hike up the mountain with some really gorgeous views. It was dusk when we parked and nearly dark when we got back to the car from our hike. It really was the perfect way to end my trip.

 
(This is a panoramic view on top of Moel Arthur at dusk. I could literally have stayed there for hours just watching the twinkling lights of the villages and towns below.)

 
(This photo is extremely dark because, well, it was getting dark outside. It was coooold and windy and damn near perfect. The best way to spend a final night with someone you care about is to hike a mountain.)

I had very mixed emotions about leaving and heading back home. On one hand I was ready to see my children, family and friends. I was definitely ready for a bit warmer weather also. One the other hand, well, I just wasn't ready to leave. I hated packing my stuff up and seeing the gaping hole in the wardrobe where my clothes had just been.

It really was a wonderful adventure and I am incredibly blessed to have been able to do make it happen. It's not often that you have someone who'll let you take over their house with your massive amounts of beauty products and propensity for leaving clothes on the floor. It would have been a real struggle to afford a trip like this one if I would have had to have paid for lodging, a rental car and fuel. I dare say it wouldn't have happened.

Before I left we talked about what our next adventure would be and I can happily say that it'll be in April, after my busy tax season is over. A flight's been booked and plans are in full swing to take the road trip of a lifetime...Texas to Canada and back. We're definitely a little crazy, a little adventurous and a lot excited.

I simply cannot wait to see where this whole adventure takes us.

(Watch this space...)

Vacation, Part 2 (Barcelona)

If you missed it you can go read about Part 1 of my vacation.

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Our time in Scotland was really nice but also tiring. You wouldn't believe how much energy it takes to sleep in below freezing temperatures. When we got back home to Duvain's house (or flat as he calls it) we chilled for a few days to gear up for a trip to Barcelona, Spain. It was a little surreal thinking that we were going to Barcelona because it was never a planned thing that we talked about until my Mom brought it up.

My parents, Grandma and Aunt had planned a 12 day cruise earlier in the year that included a couple days stay in Barcelona. When they decided to leave town I thought it might be a good time to also leave town to visit The UK. I happened to be out shopping with my Mom one random Saturday 2 months or so before we all were leaving for our separate destinations when I happened to check my e-mail on my phone and saw that Duvain had forwarded me an e-mail showing flight prices to different locations by him. We had often talked about how I think it's so cool that for hardly any money he can fly to so many different countries because of his location and it's not like that for me. I read the cost of different flights to my Mom and happened to say Barcelona and how cheap it was and that's how the plan was started. She thought it would be so cool for Duvain and me to meet all of them halfway across the world and I had to agree that I thought that would be a great way to add to this already insane adventure.

So, Duvain and I packed a few days worth of clothes and headed to the airport only to discover, after sitting on the airplane for nearly TWO HOURS, that our flight had been cancelled because we just happened to pick the one day where all the Spanish air traffic controllers went on strike. Thankfully we had many places to call home so we weren't stuck in the airport like so many other people. I won't lie, that day was a bad day and isn't even worth mentioning much about. We were stranded, Duvain was sick and I was in a bad mood. It was the perfect storm for disaster. I thought we wouldn't make it on the plane the next day for several reasons. (Relationships are hard shit, am I right?) We did, however, make it on the plane and we spent 3 glorious days taking in Spain and it was lovely. Really lovely.

When I travelled to visit Duvain earlier in the year we took a side trip to Paris and I have to say that I like Barcelona so much more which completely surprised me. I had always wanted to visit Paris, it was a dream of mine and it really took me by utter surprise that I loved Barcelona so much more. The atmosphere is so much more laid back and colorful. I loved the hell out of it! We really tried to take in as many sights as we possibly could...

Barcelona Cathedral This cathedral was set among cobbled streets with interesting shops and tons of tourists. I especially loved the geese that lived within the Cathedral. The ancestors of those geese are said to have been there for 5 centuries!

 
(Geese inside Barcelona Cathedral)

La Rambla is a "tree-lined pedestrian street" that houses shops, restaurants and any kind of street performer that you can think of. There were people dressed as all sorts of characters, strange and interesting. It's a lively street that I enjoyed walking down.

(Me with a random street performer.)

 
(Duvain at the beginning of La Rambla.)

Casa Batllo was simply stunning. It's a house that was conceptualized and built by Antoni Gaudi. There are no straight walls in the entire building, the woodwork is beautiful and you can see nature in every single nook and cranny of his building. It was like walking into a dream land. I was ready and willing to move right in!

 
(Casa Batllo at night)

 
(Duvain in the back garden listening to the audio tour.)

 
(Part of the chimney. I need a fancy chimney like this!)

Sagrada Familia. I'm not particularly religious and I'm not often wooed by churches, buildings and the like but this place made me break out in goosebumps several times. If you go to Barcelona PLEASE GO HERE. This church was also designed by Antoni Gaudi and the nature theme is thick here. The support beams inside the church look like tree limbs and the ceiling looks like the canopy of a forest. It's an utter dream world that only the very talented and perhaps a little crazy could imagine in their head and then make a reality. Duvain and I paid the 2 Euros each to ride the elevator to the top of one of the spires and then we walked down the spiral staircase.I really enjoyed the vast view of Barcelona from the top of the church.

We also sat in the pews for about 10 minutes and at one point I closed my eyes and just listened to the sounds surrounding me. Despite that fact that there were hundreds of other tourists there the sound was one of calm and peace. It's hard to describe. I didn't necessarily feel God but I felt something bigger than life while I was sitting there. This was THE most amazing building I've ever been inside, EVER. Gaudi knew he would never live to see the completion of this church (it's been in the works for 129 years) and was quoted as saying: “My client is not in a hurry", meaning God. I just love that.

 
(A view of Barcelona while walking down the spiral staircase inside the church.)

 
(Entrance of Sagrada Familia.)

 
(The very bottom of the exceptionally spiral-y staircase. )

 
(Part of the ceiling. This photo, of course, doesn't do justice to the beauty and sheer genius of this ceiling but it can give you an idea.)

Other places we visited were the Picasso Museum and Arco de Triunfo de Barcelona and the gardens surrounding it. Did you know that wild parakeets are prevalent in Barcelona?! This may sound daft, as Duvain would say, but I've only seen parakeets in cages in someones home or in a pet store so I was in utter amazement that these gorgeous bright green birds were flying around freely with their bird buddies. I tell you, THIS is why I travel. To see new things and open my mind to what really is and not what is manufactured for me by a pet store, or movie or whatever. I must have watched those birds for 20 minutes just marvelling at the simple act of them being there flying around.

 
(Dinner with my family! In Barcelona! This was literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.)

 
(Outside Sagrada Familia with the largest cotton candy I've ever laid eyes on. It was delicious.)

 
(Pretending to ride on one of the rent-a-bike's. We wanted to ride on them but couldn't figure out how and neither of us read Catalan or Spanish.)

Barcelona was a lovely and lively place that I'd love to go back to again to see the things we missed. If you get a chance you should go! I highly recommend!

After our short time in Spain we were thawed out a little and had drank enough Sangria to keep us happy but it was time to board another plane and fly back to The UK. Our adventures weren't over just yet.

To be continued...